Tuesday, May 16, 2006

My observations of the amateur kind....no offense intended.

It is interesting to think about how alike and yet how different siblings can be, and are. My family of 5 total children, were all approximately 3 years apart, all born to the same parents, living essentially the same life, experiencing essentially the same things, and yet we are so different, and yet so the same.

It speaks to the nature vs nurture question, and shows how much personality comes into play in shaping an individual. Of course, this is no scientific experiment, with no control group, just simple observation by me.... of us.

Judy, the oldest daughter, was always a sweet-natured little girl, very shy, very loving, very agreeable. This was her personality. She remained the same way (though, yes, she could have a temper) throughout her life. She was perhaps too agreeable, and didn't stick up for herself enough, though this is a legacy of the 40s and 50s I think, and probably continues today to a large degree, in which girsl and women are taught (by men) to defer to them, don't make waves, go with the flow.
So, being a shy, agreeable person to begin with made her even more agreeable. If that makes any sense.

Carolyn, the second daughter, has a personality that is a bit feistier, and she was a more outgoing, mind-of-her-own kind of girl, and her determination and strength has carried her through any challenges she's come across. She is independent, strong, intelligent (as we all are), and has guts. Oddly, though, all of us kids have a degree of shyness and low-self esteem, and I don't think she realizes how strong or wonderful she is, and none of us really grasp our own value.

We are all pretty attractive, we can say that now, looking back on photos of us when we were young, and remark that we used to think we were unattractive, and now, through the perspective of aging, we can see that we were indeed quite good looking, and we therefore did not see what was really there, but rather, we were seeing what we THOUGHT was the truth. Our parents were very attractive, and of course they had very cute kids!

Marsha, the third daughter, is also shy, rather more quiet than I am, but not as quiet as Judy was, but yet has the family shy gene. I always viewed Marsha as the pretty one. She is pretty, and was pretty, but as I said, never felt so. She is artistic, (actually we all are), but she probably exhibited her talent at the youngest age. She is a very loving, gentle person, and has the love of animals we all have, and a particular love of real breathing animals, and toy, collectible beautiful bears, animals and dolls. There is a comfort, I think, for most people, with the cuddliness of childhood stuffed toys, and the feeling that gives us of being cared for, of snuggling into bed at night with a soft toy, and using the imagination of a little child to believe those friends were/are real and love us back.

Me, the fourth daughter. My dad confessed to me that when I was born he said: "great, another damn girl". Not a nice thing to tell said girl, but he said the reason he told me is because as I grew into a toddler he regretted the remark, and said I was the cutest girl he'd ever seen. I still haven't forgotten that, though, that I would be a disappointment to a dad who dreamed of a boy. My personality is more of a combination of my sisters. I can be shy, I don't have the greatest self-esteem, and I definitely did not think I was attractive or valuable, and did not choose wisely when I was making life decisions about marriage and career. But I am strong, and I am feisty, and I have learned I have courage. I am artistic, as well, as you know, and can't imagine not creating something of somekind all the time. Books, paintings, pies. I am a spiritual thinker, being able to see the value in many beliefs and faiths, and tend to believe that there is a universal source of intelligence and energy, overseeing the universe/galaxies/infinities...whatever it is..... and that there were many men and women of intelligence and belief whose thoughts have value, have been many prophets from many places around the world, and all have similar ideals and lessons for us. My sisters have their views, and their beliefs, and if they wish to share, they may. It's not really important exactly what you believe, really, I just think that you listen, read, and then take in what makes sense, and what provides comfort and help when it is needed. Same for politics, I guess.

Eddie, the last kid, and finally the boy! He's got the shy gene, is extreeeemely intelligent, has lots and lots of interests, abilities, skills, talents, a wealth of knowledge of music history (American mostly, I guess, not sure if he's much into classical stuff), but if you want to know about jazz musicians of the 40s all you need to do is ask...he'll know the answer and probably have the actual music to play for you. He's generous and sweet, and is a fabulous dad, a loving husband, and a great brother to me.

All of us love old houses, old things, and especially enjoy living with/in them. We all enjoy animals, though some more than others, and some are cat people and some are dog people, and some love both.

It's just interesting, and those are some observations. Please, take no offense if I said anything that might have embarassed you, and add anything you wish, expound on, or disagree with the observations. Especially feel free to write about me...I'm curious as to what my siblings see in me.


At 10:24 PM, Anonymous Marsja said...

Very interesting Lynne, I need more time to think about what to add..

At 12:56 PM, Anonymous Marsh said...

An interestng difference between Lynne and I that I remember was when she was about four, she would go over to Mrs. Fox's back door and knock and say "Can I have some ice cream?" I was way to shy to imagine doing that.

At 1:05 PM, Anonymous Marsha said...

I agree wholeheartedly about your observations about toys. That's exactly how I feel. I like my little friends around, they are a comfort to me in a crazy world and take me back to a simpler, happier time.

At 4:17 PM, Blogger Lynne said...

Oh yes, I did indeed sneak over for ice cream, looking back over my shoulder to make sure no one was watching out the window to catch and stop me.

Guilty as charged.
I knew they would give it to me, I had the confidence because it worked.

At 1:57 PM, Anonymous Carolyn said...

what! me? feisty? hmph... well, yeah. You can accept getting pushed around - knocked down, dragged, kicked, pinched, spit on or NOT. I chose NOT. Not taking any crap. You gotta be real nice, or I'm just gone.

At 4:17 PM, Blogger Lynne said...

oh dear

NO OFFENSE intended! Nice is for sisters, not for people who try to hurt us. I hope that you know I intend only to be nice to you.

I LOVE feisty and strong and I meant it only as a compliment.

I use the name "feisty" on a message board describing myself. I think it's a good thing.

I was saying those things in admiration.

sorry if it came across another way

At 6:03 PM, Anonymous Carolyn said...

nope, just running my mouth. words typed in sometimes just turn out seeming like you meant them some other way than you what you really did.

and ... I have noticed that that attitude we were talking about is sort of a family thing, too. (see me now, poking you? and grinning?) It seems to me that baby sister Lynne has no problem defending herself. nor Julie, nor Jenny. maybe it's the B-word. whacha think, Julie? are we?

At 7:11 PM, Blogger Lynne said...

To quote Kathy Bates in the movie Dolores Clayborne:

"Sometimes being a bitch is all a woman has to hold onto."

Yep, we feisty.

At 7:32 PM, Anonymous Julie said...

I think that once you have had to be independent, you learn that a lot of people want to take advantage of single women an that you have to be a b**** or they will walk all over you.


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