Monday, April 24, 2006

I should probably

clarify.....that when I say I'm doing "great", sometimes for me that just means I'm having a relatively pain-free day, have a fair amount of mobility, and feel fairly upbeat and hopeful.

I am definitely not 100%, and sometimes I think I may seem to make things seem better than they are so people don't freak out.

I am not my old self, and likely never will be. (unless that magic wand thing works)

I have much less stamina, I can walk around my apartment, but cannot walk down the outer hallway without crutches or cane, and walk very, very slowly. I usually use my Amigo to go out, even though I can't take it on my car (wish I COULD!!), I ride it downstairs, park it in the lobby and take the key, then crutch to my car. If I'm parked close, it isn't too bad, but I have to sit in my car and recooperate from the effort before I can drive anywhere.

I can now go to a store, and walk around for about 15 minutes, but that's about it.

Today I went to the doctor, and just walking from the parking lot, into the building down some hallways, up an elevator, and then waiting in the waiting room was exhausting.

My friends and family would love for me to visit soon, and I definitely will and want to, but the thought of the drive is daunting, so I will probably have to wait til someone can go with me.

I've perhaps been painting a too-rosey picture, because the good pain relief I've had has been so wonderful, I have expressed how good I feel (and that does feel good!) but I am not the old Lynne.

I'd love to visit Traverse City, I always have a place to stay, but almost anywhere I would go would mean climbing stairs, and that is something I can do only on a limited basis, and certainly could not do several times a day. Nor could I really go downtown or walk around, or do anything that would require much walking. I am very limted in what I can do. It's discouraging, and sad, because I can't th ink of anything more wonderful than when the weather is warmer this summer, to travel to TC and sit on a beach and soak up sun.



At 9:09 AM, Anonymous Jill said...

As soon as school is done I will happily accompany you to Bay City or TC for that matter! Let's plan a trip to see the family in Bay City. I could go next Friday...

Besides, without a current job I have more free time than I know what to do with! Poor unemployable me :(

At 10:40 AM, Blogger Lynne said...

next friday is a chemo day

always some wonderful cancer crap to do

ain't my life great

At 3:22 PM, Blogger Lynda said...

We made jokes that Calem would go with his mom to Kaiser every other day, he truely was a Kaiser baby. (That is the hospital where he was born.) My sister was so happy to have a chemo free week when I came out to visit, and she still had to go to Kaiser for either him or herself.

I think being great by having a pain-free day is a wonderful thing. I am glad you have some mobility and it seems like you are very positive.

Personally, I don't think you will ever be your old self. Even when you are cancer-free, it will always be a part of your life. Just like because of my sister is is always a part of my life.


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