Monday, March 13, 2006

What do I need?

Not a sinus infection, but that's just what I got. Oh well, if all goes well, the antibiotics will have kicked in by this time tomorrow and it will be one less thing to deal with.

I spend way more time than I want to in doctor's offices, and cancer centers.

I still marvel at the large numbers of people who are walking around with cancer, just like me. I sit with them in the waiting rooms, we read magazines, chat, and act like "normal" people. It was a shock when I first realized just how MANY of us there are.

And just for the record, it's impossible to be "cheerful" "positive" "upbeat" "strong" "never complains" "brave" "a fighter"

ALL the time, just to please people who want you to be. They want you to be because they want you to be well, but it would be oh so abnormal not to be angry, sorrowful, down, discouraged, whiny, needy,

SOME of the time.

We do our best, and that's all we can do. As I said to a friend, I'm Lynne, not God. I will do my best, work hard, and the rest is in the hands of the universe, God, or whatever name you give the energy in charge. We are all mortal, and unfortunately, I have had to stare my mortality in the face.

Our thoughts affect our bodies, our attitude can shape us, but we are, still...... fragile entities of human birth, with spirit and intelligence of heavenly beings....here to learn....here to live......... and eventually to move on. We don't choose the timeline, though we may choose the path.

Moral of the story: Live each day. Love your family and friends (both human and animal). Eat chocolate ice cream. Sit in the sun and feel the warmth on your face. Nap. And say no when it is wise to.

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