Thursday, August 18, 2005

Hang onto your hopes my friend

I'm doing my best to hang onto my hopes, trying not to dwell on the negative, trying to listen to the goodness in my life, and not fear what may be.

I am not sure I'm doing as well as I was a few months ago. I feel more pressure in my chest and have a few more achy areas of bone. It's frightening, but I am told not to dwell on fear or anger...

Well, I think being fearful and angry I have metastatic cancer is perfectly reasonable. I'd be a mighty strange individual if I wasn't.

I care about my life, and want to live long and healthy.

Today I am out of money for the month, and it's only the 18th. I can't live on the pittance I receive in disability. I don't even buy anything. This week I am supposed to travel 150 miles to attend a wedding shower, but I can't, because I have no gas money and my pets need a vet visit.

I am going to have to find homes for my dogs, because I can't afford the proper vet care, and that is not fair to them. They are loving, wonderful dogs and deserve the best of care, and the happiest life.

Today is a bit of a struggle
But I will do my yoga, and some meditation and get on with it.


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